Ptsd dating veteran
By the time he walked me home, said he couldn’t wait to see me again and texted me when he got home, the voice was so loud and my mind was so foggy that I could barely come up with a clever text in return.
The next few days were intense – wondering when he’d ask me out again, trying to play it cool while still seeming interested.
Trying to decipher the intention between those blue i Message bubbles and bugging my (incredibly patient) friends to help me analyze.
And as it has happened more times than I’d care to admit – we never did go out again.
Instead of saying, “I was thinking it might be a good idea if we considered going to the movies this weekend because there’s this new action film out I know you would want to see and I think Charlotte can babysit on Saturday around lunchtime so what do you think? And on that fighting note, sometimes your best defense during a PTSD blow up is to simply stop talking. Here’s how this works using the previous movie anecdote: You: “Want to go to the movies on Saturday? Fast Five would be good.”You: “So you’d like to go see Fast Five.”Him: “Yes.”You: “So Fast Five on Saturday, right?
” a better question would be “Want to go to the movies Saturday? Too many details are likely to get jumbled in a mind already struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder. Every last minute of every moment together does not have to be filled with noise. ”Him: “Yeah.”With your third statement you've reconfirmed the information.
He looked almost too good to be true, and when he made reservations for our first date instead of leading it up to the happy hour gods, I found that old familiar voice in the back of my head that warns: “Uh, oh.
This could be trouble.” A few drinks and a shared appetizer later, we were walking around, chatting and stopping to kiss underneath the light and the allure of the night, and that voice was only getting louder.
“So, what you are saying is I don’t clean the house well enough.” Your veteran may have actually said something different or at least thought he said something different.Instead, a convoluted, strange, and often confusing message is delivered and the next thing you know, you’re scrambling to apologize for something as simple as trying to find out what your spouse wanted for dinner! Whatever it takes - but if everything you say is being thrown back at you, your best defense is to just stop talking. it’s something you do because you’re strong enough to understand that arguing with This is a tough one for many people. Let your veteran have time to formulate his or her answer (as opposed to just continuing to talk until your hero finally says something). You must be willing to be silent and wait for your spouse to figure out an answer.and traumatic brain injury in one brain, this is not the time to start getting fancy with your vocabulary! The Jabber Police are not around the corner coming to take you away!! I tend to jump on top of my husband’s answer and try to talk over him. If a traumatic brain injury (TBI) is involved, this is twice as important because it may very well take longer for your veteran’s brain to process (even if you’ve followed Step 1 and delivered a clear, concise message! Your crazy college professor may have talked to you about “reflective listening,” but you probably didn’t know it would be helpful marriage advice.And though I would never belittle those who genuinely have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder…I do think they’re something to be said about dating PTSD.And I’m pretty sure that I have it…and you might too. It’s all of that anxiety that follows a promising first encounter.