Physical attractiveness in dating
These guys didn't make her laugh, weren't into the things she was into, and cared more about anything else than about her.
My best male friend, E, is wicked smart, very successful, a perfect gentleman and hilarious and fun. He is 5'6", overweight, has back hair, balding.
Everyone has heard of the, "Don't judge a book by its cover," and "It's what's inside that counts." It's all true, and right and just. We can't always find a flower beautiful just because it smells sweet. Some of these people are also smart, nice, funny and sweet.
But, we are able to learn more about the flower and maybe it can smell a little more pleasant with time. But then, sometimes a gorgeous person can be selfish, mean, gossipy, jealous, dumb. Someone beautiful can become uglier because of their personality, and someone can become more attractive because of their personality My best friend M used to date some real losers, hot guys, but dumb with no ambition.
She had no interest, despite getting fed up with anyone she dated. E was the one who saw horrible chick-flicks with her. By the way, M and E are married with 3 little girls now.
An earlier draft of this paper was presented at the Second Iowa/International Network Conference on Personal Relationships, Iowa City, May 1989.In a post a couple weeks ago I mused about how the online dating world is plagued by what I guess we’ll call the “physical attraction problem.” I touched off a bit of controversy, both here and on Facebook, because there was some disconnect between what I set out to say and what people wound up hearing. In any case, the question of attraction is important if we’re ever to improve on our current trainwreck of an online dating system. Couldn’t care less – I’ve been crazy over blondes, brunettes and redheads with short hair, long hair, curly hair, straight hair, you name it. Now, you notice that there were physical and non-physical traits in there, and you see preferences and deal-breakers in both categories.I’ve been thinking about these issues, for reasons noted in that top link, and I can’t help feeling like the single biggest hurdle to getting from to something that actually works for people is physical attraction. Guess what – you’re like I am, and so is just about everyone else.This week one of my clients asked me if I thought they were being unreasonable with their dealmakers and dealbreakers.They had completed my e Work Book (click here for your free copy) and it got them thinking.