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My relationship with my husband had to be worked on continually; and so did my relationship with my God. And so the days of disharmony and distress dragged on. I flatly refused to say things like I wish youd never been born! A man on a desert island can expect to feel lonely, because he is deprived of human companionship. At a personal level I meant nothing to the one I was now united to for life!I was only a possession - required to be at his beck and call. The only time either of us got any attention from Bob was when we werent performing properly. I snapped back, Providing he is getting his own way!And people like me who had deliberately chosen to marry outside of the will of God, were regarded and treated as carnal, worldly, second-class Christians.No matter how true that was where I was concerned, I cannot remember ONE speaker or writer offering a word of comfort. Even now my stomach turns at the thought of the sweet smiling faces on the back covers.You see, there was no such thing as love-making; it was straight out having sex.He had been brought up on a farm, his only knowledge came from watching the animals.
And bitterness became more and more a characteristic of my disposition - no wonder I wasnt making much progress at winning Bob to the Lord! Grantley Morris, in his webpage Christian Carers Guide, How to Comfort Hurting People, warns: There is probably nothing on earth more powerful in bonding one person to another than the sharing of a dark, long-kept secret.I found my marriage to be a disaster instead of a delight. God had warned him NOT to make a peace treaty with the men from Gibeon.In my webpage, Looking For Love, I listed many of the difficulties that occurred in my life during almost 40 years of marriage to a man who ignored God, as well as a few more that could well have happened. But Joshua, and the men of Israel, were tricked into doing that very thing, because they forgot to check it out properly with the Lord first.Because I chose to stay up late playing computer games; so that hopefully he would soon fall asleep, and we could thus avoid our usual confrontation about the other purpose for the bedroom.Because I was a Christian I always said yes when he got one of his urges - but so often the yes came through gritted teeth.